Big Block Mania: Who Cares About Polar Bears And MPG Anyway

A few weeks ago, I had a surgery on my brain. The surgery lasted 15 minutes and will be an experience that I'll always remember. The doctor was Junior, a car meet acquaintance. The tool? A '69/'70 Chevrolet Chevelle SS396 with a Muncie 4-speed. The problem with my brain, and myself, was that I hadn't yet experienced a big-block muscle car, let alone with a 4-speed, all wrapped up in one of the most desired and bad-ass American cars ever produced. Now I'm cured... and I'm hooked on big blocks.

Guys, we need a time machine.

It was a Friday night and I was cycling to my friend Vadim's house. The air was warm and humid. The roads were calm and the cars on the road were few. But, out of nowhere, a rumbling noise broke the night's silence. If you live in Belgium, you stop getting excited when you hear a V8-like noise because it always ends up being a freakin' Harley. It's not that V-twins don't sound satisfying or cool, but if I was to have my hearing decimated, a V8 is the weapon of choice. Anyways, in a spartanly lit road in Belgium, a red Chevelle with two fat black stripes spread from hood to trunk passed by at full chat. The driver let of the throttle and the unburnt fuel caused a few crackles and pops while the beast took a breath. No wonder it was hard to cycle the journey's final moments: my jaw had been dragging on the asphalt since the Chevelle's fly-by.

A few minutes later, while waiting for Vadim to open the door, a bassy rumble appeared in my hearing field. Obviously, anything sounding different that your typical diesel/gasoline four cylinder is worth checking out. Unsurprisingly, the culprit of all this ruckus was the Chevelle I had seen 10 minutes ago, only then to find Vadim and Junior, the car's owner, getting out of it.

Big Block VS Small Block

The first thing you notice on the Chevelle is its stance. The most accurate term to describe the car's look is "bad-ass". The feeling you get when you feast your eyes on the Chevy's simple and quintessentially 60's muscle car design is similar to the one you get when looking at Ice Cube: even if he's friendly and cool with you, he always looks angry. You sense a pleasant intimidation. In my opinion, only a handful of cars have this charm, like the Mercedes G63 6x6, vintage muscle cars or pre-war luxury cars. But the Chevelle's styling would've seemed faulted if it wasn't equipped with the legendary Magnum 500 wheels. The rear-ones are probably the coolest ones to observe, since they're 1-2" wider that the fronts and have a polished lip the size of probably two Lego figures. These Mags improve the car's styling by landslide. After having seen a 350 Chevelle with factory Cragars that made it resemble a boat on four wheels, Junior's one was similar to a large Rottweiler, ready to attack. Passing in front of the passenger window, I snooped inside to recognise a beautiful, all-metal Hurst shifter, bucket seats and a black vinyl interior. Then, I noticed the "SS396" emblems, meaning that it had a 396 c.i. V8 big-block with 376 hp at top spec. However, Junior told me it didn't have a 396, but a 454 c.i., also a big-block. In case you're not into inches, 454 c.i. equates to 7,500 cc. What a monster of an engine! The 454 was one of the baddest, most powerful engines ever put inside a muscle car, towards the end of the muscle car wars of the 60's. When new, the Chevelle supposedly made around 450 hp, which is considered kinda conservative. The SS454s probably made closer to 500 hp. You may wonder what is the price for all this goodness. Guess....WRONG! Junior paid 12k Euros for this incredible Chevelle, the same price as a new, base model 1,2 lt Renault Clio with a whopping 75 hp. Pretty hard to choose between the two, innit?!

The Mags are the real deal.

After a few hours of chilling and car talk, it was time to go home: Junior in his 7,5 lt muscle car and me on the mountain bike. One of the least ecological and coolest cars of all time versus the least polluting means of transport, a bicycle. Bizarrely and thankfully, my luck turned to my favour that night because Junior offered to take me home in the Chevelle. So much win and we had yet to put the bike in the trunk.

True dat!

The time was about 2 a.m.. The Chevy looked even meaner than it did before. The yellowy street lights, combined with the sky's darkness and the mist on the car's body would've been a great photo. Unfortunately, the Samsung S5's camera wouldn't have done the car justice; its camera is crap at night.  Five grueling minutes later, the bike had been wrestled in the Chevelle's enormous, insulation-less trunk... just. The trunk couldn't close unless we dented it. We said "Fuck it! We'll leave it like this" and got in the car.

The Chevelle is an enormous car for European standards. It is a coupe with an enormous V8, space for five adults, even six, if you have one with bench seats, and enough space in the trunk for about two, maybe three dead bodies; or probably 10 bags filled with pineapples; or a mountain bike. The seats are heavily sprung and comfortable, and the interior is airy and very roomy. The accessories are pretty sparse, since we're talking about a car from the late 60's. But you don't really need much in a car like this.

The big daddy of V8s.

We buckled-up and Junior fired-up the beast. The sound of the 454's lumpy idle, mixed with the smell of super unleaded and the jiggling of the car's body, caused by the stonking motor, are part of the muscle car experience. Even at 30-40 kph in suburban Brussels, you can feel the big-block's 700 N-m of torque. The power delivery was simply effortless, like a body-builder lifting half a dozen 1,5lt water bottles. As we progressed to the main road, the Chevelle started to show its cruising potential. The ride is wafty and bouncy but perfect for relaxation.

Which brings me to the other facia of the Chevelle's bipolarism: it's made for hooning. Arriving at the red light before the 2/2,5 km radar-less straight, I said to Junior to show me the Chevy's potential. He smirked and, when the light turned green, he gave it the beans. Accompanied by the Hurst shifter's click-clack, the 454 sounded brutal and kinda like a machine-gun/velociraptor. In every gear change, the big-block oozed-out more and more torque. You feel as if the car can tow a Hummer without breaking a sweat. A Chevelle with a big-block and a 4-speed turns all your senses up to 11 and you start to giggle like Cheech and Chong. You can even feel the posi-traction (Chevy's LSD) working, something I've never felt in any other car. You notice the diff doing its job, constantly varying the speed of each rear wheel. I was in heaven; I finally understood why there's so much hype surrounding the 454 Chevelles... and I loved every single second of that drive.

You have to see it to believe it.

Succeeding our arrival, Junior showed me the big block, which was, obviously, pretty big. It was quite a lump of engine and I hadn't ever seen one its size in a car. As impressive as all that was, Junior had to leave, so we exchanged fist bumps and off he went. Nevertheless, he went around the 600 m long cul de sac that is right after my house, so he could go back up the straightaway perpendicular to the main road. I waited for the Chevelle to go down the straight, hopefully at full chat. Again, the car gods were on my side that day. As Junior reappeared, he went from warm-up mode to full bonanza mode, flooring-it till the end of the road. Of course, I could not contain my enthusiasm and started to giggle like a mofo... again. I would be very surprised if none of my neighbours woke up to a Chevelle 454 at full song.

The most accurate word to describe the Chevelle 454 is "sensational". It is so sensational that when I had to study in the weekend for the fuckloads of tests assigned by my irking school, I was only thinking about how incredible the big-block experience was. Cars like this leave you in an awe that you can't forget. You end-up wanting more and more. The only way to solve this problem? Buy one! You don't even have to buy a Chevelle. Plenty of vintage American cars came with big-blocks. If anyone ever offers you to go for ride in a big-block car, especially one like the Chevelle, just do it. You'll feel like you've never felt before in an automobile. It wakes you up and fills you with adrenaline and excitement. It's gas-guzzling America at its finest.