Sweet Driving Songs Ep.2: Cypress Hill's "When The Shit Goes Down"

A few years back, I didn't listen at all to Cypress Hill. It was probably B-Real's annoying voice that kept me disinterested. Bare with me for a sec, though. After scrutinizing DJ Muggs' funky-ass beats, overflowing with booming bass, crazy sound effects and mint sampling, you have to plainly appreciate his mastery. Hell, he's even sampled Jimi Hendrix's "Are you experienced" in the legendary song "How I could just kill a man"! The next step is falling in love B-Real's brat-like voice. The way he fades away at the end of verses, being like "Homeboyyy" or "Throw your set in the aiiiiir" is just addicting. Add to that the flowing and sometimes ecstatically violent rhymes, combined with his SoCal latino accent and you get quality music to bounce to. Now I can't stop listening to Cypress Hill and their songs never get boring. Lend me your ears!  

Wooden Bike: The Future Of Hipster Transportation

Wooden steering wheel

Thessaloniki seafront

Wooden seat!

Gears

When we thought up of our first review of a certain vehicle, we thought that, as a car blog, we should review cars... obviously, A review of any car, even a Hyundai Getz, I dare say. But, there are a few obstacles. I haven't got my driver's licence yet and I've only driven two times. Sooo, since it's a beautiful, sunny day in the city of Thessaloniki (Greece), I've decided to rent a bike, cycle by the sea and search for some barn finds. To my surprise, along with all the normal bikes, there were city bikes made out of wood. No joke! For 3,5 Euros/hour, I said "Fuck it!" and got the wooden bike.  It is stunning to look at. The best part of the design, in my opinion, is the seat, because of its complex curves. And of I went to search for some barn finds and review this bike. The steering wheel is wobbly and requires your hands to be placed at the edges of the handles, for a smooth steering feel. The gear are integrated in the hub of the rim, what could be best described as a 2-speed automatic tranny. You brake in the rear by counter-pedalling. The front brake is squishy but smooth even for "performance cycling". In the wet, the wooden handles would probably make your hands slip around. But in the dry, the handles don't bruise your hands from extensive use like the rubber ones do. Since the roads in Greece are worse than those in " Mad Max", I got to feel the lack of suspension travel... cause the suspension is made out of wood. The wooden seat turned my private parts into Marmite. The small bumps found in the asphalt and the sidewalk don't upset the bike's ride quality.

E30 and old Opel

After 15 minutes, I took a small detour to test the bike's off-road capabilities. There's was a very thin trail, on a mini-hill. A guy on a mountain bike didn't manage to go up trail and walked it off. I breathed-out and pedalled like a mofo to go up the hill, just to get enough momentum for the descent. The Coco-Mat bike OWNED IT because of its enormous rims and tires, Impressive!

E30 and skoda in the back

Shortly after, I arrived at the lot with the cars. There was a blackish E30 sedan with an M-Tec wing and, presumably, BBS replicas. A white E30 with real BBS rims was hiding in the back next to a Skoda, In the front, there was an old Opel from the 60's, I think. No way to get in from the front cause the door was locked to the fence. I went to the left side of the property ,and an old man, who works in an old-ass mini-golf course next to the lot, wanted to know about the bike. Post-explication he let me take pictures of an effed-up Jeep. Filled on the inside with random shit, wood placed on the bonnet, inaccessible driver's door, knackered grill and collapsed axles rotting to the ground. To the remember this cool adventure, the old-man let met wrestle out the Jeep's old Thessaloniki licence plate. I'm guessing the Jeep was either a CJ2 or a CJ3A, but for obvious reasons, it's hard to tell.

With new blog material in hand, I finished of the day with ride to the park, on the hill, by the sea, There was still plenty of sunlight left. So I put on some Thelonious Monk and chilled by the sea. As for the bike, it got loads of attention by passers-by. I briefed three different groups of people on the bike's construction and drivability (ridability?). A couple who was taking pictures at the park, took a few more on the bike! The Coco-Mat wooden bike could be best described as a Bmw i3 with Delorean levels of coolness. And yes, it the ultimate hipster bike.    

Effed-up Jeep

Sweet Driving Songs Ep.1: Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir"

I wonder who's Flavo Flav.

Boys and gals, I present to you our blog's new segment, called: "Sweet Driving Songs". The reason for its creation is quite simple, really . I'm tired of listening to crappy, dull, simplistic, soulless songs playing in the buses, the bars, the clubs, the parties,... The list goes on and on! I know some of you love to max out your car's sound system, and I do too. It's the best way to enjoy and analyse the songs we're listening to. BUT, repetitive pop music and all that techno, trap, dubstep crap is more sound polluting that the straight-piped 1,2L diesel Polo you're driving. Now, some of you may be reminded of the songs and the memories that go with them. And the rest of you may discover some cool new tunes to add on your playlists. Good music and nice cars go hand in hand like Flavor Flav and chains with full sized clocks on them. Without further ado, crank up the volume to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir". Robert Plant and Jimmy Page were inspired to make this epic song while driving through the Sahara Desert. Check it out here!

 

Sorting Out Nuts: The Way To Meditate

In the 21st century, the world is more stressed than ever. Plenty of companies' stockholders are treating employees like a pimp treats his hoes, pressuring them to work harder for a heftier profit in the old farts' pockets. How do you think they pay for their viagra-infested orgies? What about the media? It is rendering us unconsciously paranoid, with us looking out for terrorists and other wacky people in the subway. But even simpler things, such as trying to start a conversation with our crush, can have us shaking more than a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. What do we do?

No, not these nutz!

There are many ways we deal with stress. Some go down the spiritual route by meditating. practicing zen Buddhism or even staring at the vastness of the sky and philosophizing. Others choose to smoke a little bit of chronic (a.k.a. Dr. Dre, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Ice Cube, you get my flow), work out, go for massages, etc. There are a few problems if you're a car enthusiast, though. For a start, meditation takes time to learn. So instead of searching for wallet annihilating project cars on craigslist, you'll be teaching yourself how to breathe in and out like Confucius. Also, smoking cheeba-cheeba doesn't mix very well with driving. And why go to the gym when you can lift your spare wheel or muffler? Plus, sensual massages or RC car building can end up using a decent chunk of your budget in the long term. The solution: sorting out nuts.

Now that's more like it

Well, by nuts, I mean bolts. You know, the ones lying around your garage the same way LEGOs are in an 8-year old's room. Simply, give each thread type its designated box. Now, assemble all the random bolts in another box. Proceed by taking one bolt at a time, trying to make the thread click with one of the separated bolts, and, when it clicks, put the bastard in the right box. You have to be concentrated on your task to prevent screw-ups. It automatically makes you forget all of your problems and relax. As they say in the movie "Anchorman": "60% of the time, it works, every time". Just kidding; it always works.

So what is the moral of today's story? If you wanna be zen and clean up your garage, sort out nuts.



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