E-Tron VS E-Type: The Car Oxymoron Of The Day

Beauty vs Future

  The new Audi E-Tron is now on sale and getting the chance to go for a ride in one out of the first ten in Belgium surely is a treat. This is not the first but the second electric vehicle I've been in, number one being (drum roll please): a bus in Germany. However, this proper, 4x4 electric SUV is a totally different animal from said bus (duh!). The E-Tron comes with two electric motors that push out 360 hp and 561 Nm in "Classic Mode". For optimum performance, tap it into "Boost Mode" and the power jumps to 402 hp and 664 Nm... from zero rpm. So, you accelerate, in a 2,5 ton vehicle, from 0 to 100 kph in 5,7 seconds and it feels much faster. The only noise you hear is the whooooosh of the wind and the bzzzzzz of the tires. No drama until you look down at the speedo and let your jaw drop. On the opposite side of the E-Tron, though, is an automobile where its only common trait with it (without including the basic similarities) is the E, the hyphen (-) and the T and not many people know about it (cough): a Jaaaaag E-Type S1 roadster. Today, prepare yourself for a tour around the future of Audi and proof that classic cars have a soul. Don't believe me? We'll see about that by the end of this article.

3.8 lt race bred six vs a box to store your charger
(and Vadim)

  My friend Vadim works as an Audi salesman. Being a car nut, he noticed that nobody wanted to take the robot missile (a.k.a. E-Tron) for the weekend. So, he did the right thing and borrowed it for a couple of days. A wise choice because we ended up doing some cool activities on Sunday. The plan was to have a photoshoot with the E-Type and E-Tron, with the weather being very unpredictable. It could rain for three hours and then stop, with one minute hail storms once in a while and bit of sunlight here and there. Anyways, I hopped in the robot missile and off we went in silence. Already, the interior is a very pleasant place to be. Audi have a reputation for top notch interiors and great fit and finish. Leather seats with aluminium nobs and center console, suede door cards and one camera on each front door. Wait what?! Oh yeah, this E-Tron is equipped with all the goodies, one of them being laser gun-looking  digital side mirrors. This could be one of the reasons that this car turned so many heads, especially with its eye-popping blue paintjob and futuristic rims. The technology though, doesn’t stop there. The center console has two, tablet like screens: one for the infotainment and one for the climate controls. Also, the gauge cluster is all digital, with even high resolution, Google navigation inside it. This E-Tron was seriously well specced. Panoramic sunroof, Bang and Olufsen boomin’ sound system, 3D 360 degree view of the car for when you’re reversing, leather seats, this ride has it all. For 110,000 Euros it better!

1,500 Euros apiece for digital side mirrors

  Nevertheless, having the E-Tron next to the E-Type, I was struggling to find similarities between them. The robot missile has more in common with my phone than the Jaaaaag. They both have navigation, they both need batteries to function and you can change their settings digitally. Whereas the Jaaaaag is a machine dripping with emotion and character. It’s also way, way noisier than the Audi. Everything is creaking and squeaking. The gearbox makes a very loud whine and the engine sounds as if it’ll fall apart in slow speeds. But when you open her up and let the race-bred six sing, every single problem that you have in your head washes away. Even for short periods of time, it’s absolute nirvana. It stimulates all of your senses, bar the taste buds. Then, if it’s parked or you're left stranded on the side of the road (‘cause Jaaaaag), you have a rolling piece of art to gawk at. Come to think of it, you could call the E-Type a sort of MPV (Multi Purpose Vehicle) but for passionate rather than practical reasons.

"Grandpa, what is gasoline?"

  The E-Tron could’ve been an ideal car for “Back to the Future 2”, showcasing plenty of advancements in technology in only one vehicle. It is a cool, impressive SUV and I’m a sucker for the amount and level of gadgetry that comes with it. Though, there were a few gadgets that didn’t seem to have a logical use. For example, this E-Tron came with a kind of autonomous driving mode. It can vary its speed, brake and even steer to some extent, by itself. But it’s not even close to autonomous driving. You anyways have to pay attention to the road and help out the system, so what’s the point? Make people think that they can finally text and drive in a safe manner? Lay back and take a quick nap before work while your car “drives” you around? It’s a recipe for disaster for clueless people. Also, what will happen to these rides when they’ll be 10-20 years old, if they even make it that far? How can you reuse such an advanced and complicated vehicle? If something electric breaks, your car can’t move ‘cause its got the same power source as your PC. You can’t work on it and every, single feature is a ticking time bomb. If you have the money for a classy, electric SUV and you like it, buy the robot missile. It’s better value and quality than a Tesla. Though I’d rather spend 110k on repurposing something with soul and, well, an engine… like an E-Type drop-top. The Turbo Rocket’s advice on how to save the planet 101.

 Many to my man Vadim for showing me around the E-Tron! Very happy to have experienced Audi's first, fully electric SUV, with all the goodies  and for bringing out the E-Type to compare their status quo!