Sorting Out Nuts: The Way To Meditate

In the 21st century, the world is more stressed than ever. Plenty of companies' stockholders are treating employees like a pimp treats his hoes, pressuring them to work harder for a heftier profit in the old farts' pockets. How do you think they pay for their viagra-infested orgies? What about the media? It is rendering us unconsciously paranoid, with us looking out for terrorists and other wacky people in the subway. But even simpler things, such as trying to start a conversation with our crush, can have us shaking more than a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. What do we do?

No, not these nutz!

There are many ways we deal with stress. Some go down the spiritual route by meditating. practicing zen Buddhism or even staring at the vastness of the sky and philosophizing. Others choose to smoke a little bit of chronic (a.k.a. Dr. Dre, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Ice Cube, you get my flow), work out, go for massages, etc. There are a few problems if you're a car enthusiast, though. For a start, meditation takes time to learn. So instead of searching for wallet annihilating project cars on craigslist, you'll be teaching yourself how to breathe in and out like Confucius. Also, smoking cheeba-cheeba doesn't mix very well with driving. And why go to the gym when you can lift your spare wheel or muffler? Plus, sensual massages or RC car building can end up using a decent chunk of your budget in the long term. The solution: sorting out nuts.

Now that's more like it

Well, by nuts, I mean bolts. You know, the ones lying around your garage the same way LEGOs are in an 8-year old's room. Simply, give each thread type its designated box. Now, assemble all the random bolts in another box. Proceed by taking one bolt at a time, trying to make the thread click with one of the separated bolts, and, when it clicks, put the bastard in the right box. You have to be concentrated on your task to prevent screw-ups. It automatically makes you forget all of your problems and relax. As they say in the movie "Anchorman": "60% of the time, it works, every time". Just kidding; it always works.

So what is the moral of today's story? If you wanna be zen and clean up your garage, sort out nuts.



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